Title sponsored by Austin.

I wanted to update again.

I just came back from waffle house.

I should be doing a project, but I'm not.

I want annuals now.

Well,
lots of stuff and things have happened.

Really, I'm not sure whether to classify the general direction of things as ... never mind, I do. After years of indecision and pain, I made an effort to keep my eyes on the Lord... to get back where I need to be, to preserve my tender walk with Christ. Ever since I have decided to go in that dorection, there have been some dramatic changes, due to the fact that indecision is no longer a factor. I've learned that more then going one way or another, indecision causes the most destruction. Unfortunately, indecision is my forte.

I do become greatly concerned that I will get lost again, and be thrusted into an even stronger episode of misery, but then I pray and go to church, I use my senses, I learn, and read His Word, and have fellowship with wonderful people who always are willing to help...

I am glad things are changing, I hope I can be held accountable, and make right choices. I hope I can help people who were just like me, too.

Because I was indecisive for so long, and made so many awful choices, I am now suffering the consequences. I have hurt so many people, including myself... but these people do not deserve to be in pain. Because of my selfishness and to the fact that I was lost, I put so many people in a position of sadness and agony. It really is all my fault, but all I can do is remember that God is in control, and all things work together for the better of those who love Christ... I do love Him, I hope I never stop. I have been happier ,even through all of these trials.

I try to embrace the suffering, not as my punishment, but as my gift from God... it is His way of letting me know that He has plans for me, and that he wants me to learn my lesson, so that I can now do things for the better of myself and others, not for the worse. I do realize more and more that He loves me... and its hard, but I have to keep on trying.

Furthermore, I wish that all of my watchers are well. I see that I have some new ones, and of course, I remember all of the old ones who have been with me throughout all of the emotional rollercoasters. I truly love all of you, and thank you all endlessly for sticking by me through everything. I can only hope I can give back to you all somehow. God bless you.

I will try to stay in touch as often as I can. I don't know when I will be able to talk to you all next, but keep in mind that God does have a plan for everyone... so be well, and don't worry or be anxious!

Mucho amor!
alexandra <2


QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"Gosh, I wish he just collected stamps and talked about that instead of you. Not that I would read about stamp collecting."
- Caroline

I'm losing it. I want a psych ward and some clarity NOW.

i'm grounded
ummm yeah. few things.
thank you for what you did joe, you are a true man
i miss you cameron. sorry for being a douche to you.
len i love ya hun
and all of you are still in my heart
lotsa stuff. long process.
i'm getting there.
,,alex <2

Yesterday, I realized how much I truly love and appreciate ketchup.





Ketchhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppppp.